Karolina Jonderko

They left clothes strewn around, unmade beds, open books, the TV turned on, as if they were about to come back soon. They left their rooms unprepared for emptiness.

Magralena Gorlas

Every year, the Polish police file 15,000 missing person reports. Every day, the faces of missing people gaze out from posters designed to attract our attention; yet, every passing day, they are noticed less. We become as immune to these posters, as we do to their faces. Only those who have lost someone in these circumstances can begin to imagine the pain these families are going through. Their feelings teeter between loss and hope. Often the rooms of the missing lost ones are left untouched, for several months, years, and even decades.

I traveled 7,200 km throughout the country to visit their homes. During each visit, I photographed the rooms of the missing with the permission of their families. In addition, I also photographed the portraits that remained of the missing people in a very individual and subjective way. Each intimate portrait is a metaphor to a time that stands still, and an attempt to hold on to the memory of each unique life.Often it is not possible to recall information, or associations, which is testament to the slow, but inevitable process of forgetting. Each family also gave me a handwritten letter addressed to the missing loved one.

This project seeks to reinvigorate the efforts to find the missing, and to create awareness of the immense pain caused by the loss of a loved one, who one day went missing—by highlighting the plight of those who are missed and those who miss them.

Full profiles can be viewd at : 
www.zaginieni.pl/

I remember the joy caused by the discovery of Haribo jellies, Nutella and margarine among colourful clothes packed in heavy 15-kilo cardboard boxes. We used to get huge packages from relatives who lived in West Germany, when Poland was lacking many basic things. It was a celebration, the whole family was present for the grand opening.
 

These clothes, even though second hand, were good enough for Mum, she never felt the need to buy new ones. She preferred to save money for more important expenses. She always looked modest and didn't like black. Some say that what one wears is a part of creating one's identity. My mother, all her life, wore clothes that she hadn't chosen.

I've been reliving the past and have lived in the past since she passed away in 2008. All my work has been building on my memories and longing. "Self-portrait with my mother" is an attempt to summarise that period, move beyond the past - a final reconciliation with reality. 

My grandmother's house is empty and cold now, mining damage slowly changed it into ruin. This is where my mother, my sister and me grew up. It is here where I brought clothes after the death of mother. And now when also my grandmother passed away, it is here where I've been taking self-portraits, recreating the dresses and outfits from my memory exactly like my mother use to match them. I've tried another set which we got in one of those big packages so many years ago.
I''ve found her blond hair on the green coat.

“His Majesty’s government will never forget the debt they owe to the Polish troops who have served them so valiantly and for all those who have fought under our command....”

Winston Churchill at the Crimea Conference 27, February 1945

These words were put into action by the Polish Resettlement Act of 1947. Over 200 camps were set up across Great Britain to provide refuge for hundreds of displaced Polish war veterans and their dependants, who would have faced imprisonment or execution if had returned to their homeland. There is only one left and it is run by the British Ministry of Defence to this day.

Ilford Park, also known as Stover Camp and just 2 miles from Newton Abbot town centre, was set up in 1948. The same year the first camp baby was born. A girl called Krystyna. It became a vibrant settlement, a kind of a small town, with its own church, hairdresser, communal kitchen and dining area, cinema, nursery, library, hospital and shop. In the heart of Devon, people of different social backgrounds and from different parts of Poland built an integrated community. Soldiers who fought in and survived the greatest battles of World War II had lost and dearly missed their homeland. Unable to return they created new homes and with time assimilated. The locals started calling it “Little Poland” and it is known by this name today, despite the fact that the 16-hectare camp does not exist anymore. By the end of 1992 all the inhabitants had been moved to the newly built Ilford Park Polish Home on the same site.

Ilford Park is a place unlike any other with 83 unique residents each and their rooms. Each person and each story are simply breath-taking and unforgettable, taking the listener back to the times of war. Heroes from the Battle of Britain, Warsaw Uprising, Monte Cassino and other battles as well as survivors of Siberian gulags moved in and made it home, a Polish home. When entering the building it feels like crossing the border into Poland. Most of the staff is Polish, some were brought up here. The corridors are named after Polish cities. The shop, still open 3 times a week and run by Krystyna’s sister, is located on Warsaw Street as is the church where mass in Polish starts promptly at 10:30 every morning. The main kitchen is based on Gdynia Street, the therapy room is at the end of Wroclaw Street. At each street crossing a “day space” was created, 4 in total. They are the hubs of the home. The residents gather there to eat, chat, have visitors, watch TV and listen to the radio. Polish songs are sung every Wednesday, the hairdresser comes on Mondays, Bingo is on Tuesday and Thursday. There are also regular shopping and sightseeing trips to go on. Every corner and every wall is full of Polish emblems, souvenirs, paintings and poems. The only thing that is not as Polish as “Little Poland” residents would like is the food. It truly is a home away from home.

The project was created thanks to the scholarship from the Minister of Culture and National Heritage of the Republic of Poland

In progress...

Babies awaken strong emotions in adults. We look after them with care and gentleness, we love them. Surprisingly, this is the case even if they are not real.

I wanted to find out why.

It looks like a real baby, it even smells like one, but it’s made of vinyl. When you take on such a doll, you are given a birth certificate with the weight and height, just like a real baby. Each and every one of them is unique, carefully crafted by reborn artists, that’s why they are collected as pieces of art. Yet those dolls happen to be a powerful therapy tool. It’s proven that cuddling a baby causes a release of hormones, which produce a sense of well-being. They bring comfort.

Every woman has a unique motive for having such a baby. The maternal instinct is so strong that those who can’t have, or have lost a baby, give their love to an unreal one. They look after them, change them, take them for a walk and buy clothes for them. The “babies” provide companionship, they bring calming routine, they are a little bundle of joy to love and help their “mothers” dealing with loss, depression, trauma or anxiety.

Bebok. Every child in Silesia knows it. Who is Bebok? Is it good or bad? Should we be afraid of it? Does it really exist? Does it visit you too? Is it one of us? What are you scared of? What is your Bebok?

When I was a child, I was frightened by the monsters hiding under my bed. Later, my mum used to scare me with another one hiding in the darkness of our basement. In my teenage years I felt I didn't belong. But the list of my fears was very long. There is always Bebok waiting for us or hiding within us.

The project tells a contemporary story about a group of friends. The young people from the small town of Wrzesnia played themselves in Bebok, therefore some of the photographs are typically documentary, although the audience can only guess which ones. Everything in this world seems fictionalized and real at the same time. Almost all the characters play the role of teenagers spending a carefree holiday together. Except for one. The title role. Bebok. Bebok is made of fear. The fear that is not fabricated, is truly real and can affect all of us.

What do we know about Bebok? Not much. It appears as a secretive observer of the pleasant events in the lives of the young people. It stands in the street and looks through the window of a flat where a party is taking place, it peeps at a kissing couple or secretly observes a group of friends spending time together in a summer house. For all intents and purposes, we do not know whether Bebok actually - physically - appears in the situations depicted. Perhaps even these events do not take place at all and only happen in its imagination?

Bebok could be the story of any of us. The project and the book are about taming anxiety and fear, as well as lack of belonging and seeking acceptance by the group. It is also about growing up and facing the unknown.

See to what extent Bebok is also your story. Don't be afraid. You will not be alone.

This project was made within the Kolekcja Wrzesińska residency.

If you are interested in buying the book email me: karolinajonderko@gmail.com

From 23 to 29 November at Warsaw Central Station a number of boards were installed. Boards with full-size, photographed figures. Women and men of different ages, shapes and sizes. Just like us.

Who were these people? Each picture had a short description saying just that. To read it you had to come closer; you had to be face-to-face with each and every photographed person. However, when you stood in front of them, when you were ready to look into their eyes, you stared at yourself. Their faces were not there. They had been cut out and replaced with mirrors. Everyone who visited the exhibition saw themselves instead of a stranger who they knew nothing about.

The fundamental idea behind my vision was for every passerby to see themselves in the mirror while reading the story told by each individual. Was it just the reflection of the face that they knew so well and recognized immediately? Or, perhaps, there was more? Perhaps, the story sounded familiar, perhaps, it was their story too. My thinking behind this form of exhibition was to enable viewers to identify themselves with those who undergo psychological crises and a variety of mental disorders; to let them see their own reflections in these stories.

The wide range of stories and experiences I used was the key to this project. Psychological crises affect most of us, but, as the stories tell, crisis is not always the end. On the contrary, it is usually the beginning. Each photographed person described their battle with a mental illness in their own words. They decided to share their experiences to help those who, for whatever reason, have not sought help yet.

I would like to send a huge thank you to all who took part in this project. Thank you for your bravery, thank you for sharing your stories with not only me, but with everyone. I hope that this exhibition will be held in different places around Poland. The statistics say that one in four of us is affected by mental problems in one way or another. Meaning it can happen to any of us at any time. Developing greater awareness of how common it is is crucial. The earlier one seeks help, the sooner one recognises early symptoms, the greater the chances of a full recovery.

It is an evening on 27 February 2008. As usually I go to my boyfriend's for the night since my bedroom is occupied. Before I leave I cast a glance at my mum. She is asleep breathing heavily. For the past few months, every evening, every time I leave I fear it is the last time I see her alive. The next morning on the way back home I buy her favourite garlic rolls for breakfast. The moment I enter the smell of freshly backed bread fills the flat but my mum cannot smell it and there won’t be more breakfasts with her. She is gone, for ever. She died 20 minutes before my arrival.

11 years went past but the memory of this morning is as vivid as thought it only happened yesterday. 11 years of my existence filled in with both painful feelings and tough experiences but also with the happiest moments of my entire life. There are so many memories that I could not share with my mum and so many memories that my mum could not longer be part of. That is why today, 11 years later on the 28 February 2019, I am lunching the English edition of my book “Self-portrait with my Mother” and I feel extremely privileged to be able, to share my memories of my mum with you.

Full project description : http://www.karolinajonderko.com/#/selfportraitwithmymother/

This book would have never been published without:
Natalia Szczech and her beautiful design,
Great talent and creativity of Karolina Cagara,
Tomek Kubaczyk who prepared all the photographs for printing with such precision and professionalism,
Text and translation of my beloved sister Hanna Jonderko and support of her husband, Jimmy Merritt.

I cannot thank them all enough.

Since this project is very personal, each book is hand wrapped, packaged, signed and posted personally by me. Hence the orders are taken only via this email: karolinajonderko@gmail.com

There are only 150 books available.
Cost: 30£ or 38$ or 34 €

Shipping costs vary depending on destination. I’ll inform you about the costs via email.

Income from this book goes to charity

Please state in the body of the email the following:

1. Delivery option: 
a. Personally in Warsaw. 
b. By post - here ensure you provide the delivery address
Thank You ever so much

The life lasting project was inspired by Snow Patrol’s song „Chasing Cars”. The idea is simple - I lay down wherever and whenever I feel like (well, making sure the composition is good), and take a picture. Carrying around my camera and my small yellow tripod I’m registering important moments in my life. The focus is not only on capturing places I’ve been to, but also and mostly about changes. I want to document how I change over the years - the color and length of my hair, my body shape, clothes, style (although I’m not really sure I have one). And in this way create an enduring documentary record of my life.

It all started in 2010...